If you pick on him
by G.Fawkes
Summary: ...It means you like him. Just a one shot involving Ikkaku and a requested OC.


"Where is she?"

Yumichika blinked awake, he was fairly certain he had just heard Ikkaku but the man was nowhere to be seen. Sitting up from where he leaned against the tree, the feathered Shinigami angled his head about scanning the open field. Still nothing. Shrugging he leaned back again and yawned only to have it turn into a started outcry as his sleepy vision focused on a rather leafy Ikkaku. "What the hell is your problem! You scared me half to death!"

The dangling man winced, his eyes full of apology before he shifted his angle and landed expertly on his feet before his friend. "Sorry..."

"Why are you in a tree? More specifically, why are you in a tree and covered in branches and leaves. One might think that you're... You are hiding!"

The dejected glower that spread across Ikkaku's face turned startled as he waved his hands and hushed the other man, his eyes quickly scanning the area even as he was trying to scramble back up into the tree. Much to his chagrin, Yumichika took hold of his pant leg and yanked him back down onto his rump. Mirth shone in the dark haired Shinigami's eyes as he waited for his sour-faced friend's explanation.

"Alright fine! I'm hiding."

"From who?"

"You know who," he grumbled, picking leaves off his robes. The ragged headdress of sticks and foliage tugged off next as he glanced to the waiting man at his side, he couldn'tt help but growl at the absolutely amused look on his face. "...Yue..."

Yumichika chuckled at his friend's distress. The newly enlisted Shinigami was a perpetual thorn in everyone's side, Ikkaku's most of all and the man was far too dense in his opinion to notice that it was because she had a crush on the witless wonder. Taking the halfhearted punch to his arm in good humor, he reached to tug a leaf from his collar and lifted it to blow away on the wind.

"They should have assigned her to our squad; Zaraki-Taicho could easily find ways for her to vent all that energy." He smirked slightly as the innuendo settled in Ikkaku's mind and simply pretended to ignore the sidelong glare from his friend. "As it is she drives Renji absolutely insane. I don't know how Kuchiki-Taicho puts up with her. I would have thought by now he'd have had her demoted. Or at least handed off to Urahara in the mortal world."

"The man must have infinite patience," he grumbled, finally leaning back against the thick trunk of the tree.

"Renji is his Lieutenant, of course he has patience." Both men shared in a short laugh before Yumichika's next question silenced his comrade, "so what exactly did Yue-kun do to make you hide in a tree?"

His lips pulled back into a lethal smile and his eyes narrowed at nothing as if he was mentally reliving the very answer to that question, "let's see... Where should I start? How about this morning?" Turning that psychotic grin on his friend he laughed in such a way that had Yumichika's brow lifting in question. "I woke up to the delightful feeling of having someone massaging my head, a real professional shiatsu technique if I've ever felt one. Low and behold, it's Yue... In her pajamas... Using anti-wrinkle cream and a rag to "buff" my head."

Yumichika's lips twitched as he pictured this little scene and the ensuing pursuit that had woken him that morning. He had wondered what had Ikkaku's airs up so early in the morning. Motioning for him to continue he made certain to reign in his laughter not wanting the man to go over the edge just yet.

"Oh, yes... I tell you she's one lucky little runt too. Her captain stepped in just as I almost had her and drug her away to finish some paper work. I swear that man sends her out to irritate all of us." Raking his hand over his smooth head, he looked back out over the field, "In the bath I was joined by a bucket of Koi. Then, as I was walking through the market, I was smacked on the back of the head by a dead fish, she'd been 'tossing it to a friend'." Making little quotation marks with his fingers he snorted and shifted, tucking his hands back into his sleeves. "I've been called baldy at least twelve times today, she gave me a melon with a smiley face painted on it and told me that now it wouldn't feel so lonely with a friend... Oh! How could I forget! She comes walking up to me with this rag tag stuffed toy looking impossibly cute with her eyes all big and innocent and right there in front of everyone hands it too me saying how I dropped it and she knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep without it tonight!"

That self same stuffed toy was yanked from the inside of Ikkaku's sleeve and dangled from his fingers. It was a very sad looking thing that looked a little like a bunny mixed with a panda. The look of utter disgust and irritation on his face was priceless.

That broke the bank. The painful attempt at holding in the laughter became too much for Yumichika who had long since folded over with his head to his knees. His laughter rang out around them earning him an intense glare from Ikkaku. It lasted far longer then he thought it would and because it did, he found himself pushed over and his friend growling at him. Gasping for breath he tried to speak but knew there was no way he'd be able to until the images filtered out of his head.

"I'm so glad my torment amuses you."

"I'm... s-sorry... but... but..." he hid his snicker behind his hand, tears falling from his eyes, "is that... all?"

"I wish..."

"Oh, don't... don't tell me... I... I can't..."

Kicking his leg, Ikkaku complained to himself, arms and legs crossed with a perpetual angry pout on his lips. He watched and waited for his friend to stop laughing before tilting his head with lifted brow, "Done?"

Nodding, he wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, "All this happened today?"

"Yea..."

"And what else did she do?"

"I don't think you could handle it. You just might laugh yourself into an early grave and then who would I have to revel in my humiliation?"

"Oh, come on, Ikkaku, just tell me."

"Ugh... fine..." shaking his head, he absently tucked the toy back into his sleeve and flopped his chin into his propped up palm."She repainted my room."

He'd grumbled it out so quietly that Yumichika had to lean closer, "what?"

"She repainted my room..."

"Dare I ask?"

"Pink."

"Pink?"

"Pink."

"Pink?" He was struggling again.

Slamming his hands down on the ground Ikkaku looked at his friend, "Yes, Pink, Dammit! Bright, girly pink! More pink then Kyoraku-Taicho's robe! As pink as Kuchiki-Taicho's beloved sakura petals! Pink!"

"I bet Yachiru loves it!" Again he dissolved into a fit of laughter clutching his side as pain gripped his ribs.

Ikkaku was about to say something when a sudden presence stepped next to him. The infuriatingly soft voice told him she was smiling as she asked what Yumichika was laughing about. She was genuinely interested and genuinely happy that his friend was happy and that just irked him all the more as he slowly turned his head to cast his glare upon her. The laughing idiot laying on the ground hadn't noticed their newest company yet but he couldn't do anything but notice her.

His eye twitched as his gaze took a long unauthorized trip up her willowy frame until it fell upon those lips. A soft coral color on honey toned skin. Hair like polished oak fit perfectly with her sparkling gray eyes. When she wasn't annoying the hell out of him he admitted, only to himself, that she was actually quite lovely. Why, the hell couldn't her temperament match the serene look of her body?

"Ikkaku-kun?

Moreover, why did his heart shudder each time she said his name? "What?"

"I think Yumichika is dying," she pointed over at the hiccupping Shinigami who rather abruptly received a vicious smack upside the head."Ikkaku! Why did you do that?"

Grinning he looked back up at her as soon as the other man sat up to glare at him, "because he deserved it."

Rolling her eyes, she tilted her head and smiled at Yumichika, her small wave drawing another twitch to Ikkaku's eye, "It's been a while Chi-kun. How have you been?"

"Delightful, Yue-chan. Ikkaku's been telling me all about the fun you two have been having today."

"Oh..." she nibbled her lower lip and had the nerve to look contrite before glancing to that same mentioned man, "Yea... I guess I've had a bit more energy then usual today."

"It's healthy for a young woman to have lots of energy, Yue-chan. You just need to find another outlet for it." Instantly forgetting her apologetic feelings she looked to Yumichika, leaning ever so slightly inwards as she stood over them. He merely nodded sagely and continued, "I know that you have Renji in your squad but if you ever want to train with us you're more then welcome."

"Ayasegawa..." Ikkaku growled, his head all but creaked with the tension in his neck as he looked at the man.

"What? Well, she is. Even Zaraki-Taicho said it would be good for her."

"Yes but..."

"Its okay, Chi-kun..." Both men looked up at the strangely sad tone of Yue's voice; though she was smiling they could tell that it was not true. It confused them slightly, of course they had missed the moment she'd realized that Ikkaku didn't want her train with them. "I'm fine working with Renji. I wouldn't want to disrupt your training."

"Oh, it wouldn't be..."

"Disrupt our training?" Ikkaku's interruption had Yumichika about to say something but the man was on his feet and in Yue's face before he could get a word out. "DISRUPT OUR TRAINING! You've done nothing but disrupt my training all day, everyday, for the last three months! How would this be any different?"

"I... I... Don't..."

"Ikkaku, settle down." rising to set a hand to his friend's sleeve he found it cruelly brushed off as he went right back at her. Yumichika could tell that not only was the young woman scared but also sad and some part of him pitied her.

"That's right, you don't! You don't care that I have to spend hours catching up for every hour I'm either cleaning or reversing your pranks! You don't care that I'm a laughing stock of my squad on a near constant basis because of your jokes! You don't think at all do you, Yue!" His cruel words had her stepping back as he advanced until she'd stumbled and toppled onto her bottom. Not even there could she escape his wrath as he crouched and leaned in barely a breath from her wide-eyed face. "Let me get this into your thick skull... LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't want to see you here or anywhere areound our squad again. Is that understood?"

She could only nod. Her eyes dry from shock even though it felt like they were flooding out from the breaks in her heart. Trembling, she inched back and rose unsteadily to her feet with his tall height mimicking her. "I... I... understand Ikka... Madarame-san..."

"Good! Now get out of my sight!"

Yumichika actually watched as she flinched before bowing to them both and turning to hurry from their presence. Her head down he knew that she would be crying and his heavy sigh revealed as much to himself as it did to Ikkaku.

"What now?" Turning on him, the much-calmed third-seat was taken back by the peeved look that was focused on him. "What? What did I do? I finally got rid of..."

"Has the sun finally cooked you brain, Ikkaku?"

"Huh! What's your problem?"

"I should be asking you that! You didn't have to go off on her like that. You really are completely dense, aren't you?"

"Watch it, Ayasegawa; I have no qualms in beating you into the ground."

Throwing his hands up in the air he turned and stalked off but before he got too far he turned back to his confused and irate friend, "You ever wonder why she picks on you the most?"

"No!"

"Well, maybe you should, and while you're at it, you should wonder why I just stood there and watched a young woman's heart shatter while you yelled at her." Flipping his hair over his shoulder he turned and stalked off to their division leaving Ikkaku dumbfounded beneath the billowing branches.

"...Heart shatter..." he muttered, confused. The words taking their time to settle and when they did his eyes widened to saucers. A low vicious growl rumbling from his throat had him storming off towards the sixth division.

Despite the distance, it had taken him nearly three hours to reach his destination, which included the four times of talking himself out of and back into going, until finally; he stood in the halls of her division. Several paused to stare at him, debating to approach or not before hurrying away under his glare.

It was a slight knock on Byakuya's office door that eventually alerted the Captain and his Lieutenant to the intrusion of the eleventh squad's third-seat. Pulling open the door, Renji looked down at the worried shinigami, "What is it?"

"Um... Madarame from eleventh is here and he looks really pissed."

The sudden shuffle and flop of papers drew all three mens' eyes to the hurried figure of Yue as she tried to pick up the stack she had dropped at the mention of Ikkaku's visit. So worried that he had come to yell at her again, or worse, talk Byakuya to casting her out of his squad as well, she didn't notice the curious exchange over her odd behavior.

"Renji, why don't you go see what Madarame-san wants."

"Yes, Taicho." Shooing the young man out of the office he hurried down to meet the stewing warrior, unable to let go of the fear that was etched on Yue's face.

"Yue?" Byakuya's voice had her trembling hands stilling as they straightened the stack. Grey eyes turned stormy with her worry slowly lifted to her Taicho before falling away in shame. That was all he needed, "I take it our guest is here to either see you or to speak to me because of something you have done to him, yet again?"

She merely nodded, her voice far too quiet to make out the, "yes, Taicho."

"I expect all those in my squad to hold themselves to a high standard, yet time and time again you shame us with these childish antics of yours. I expect this more of Renji then you, Yue."

"I understand, Taicho."

Sighing, Byakuya rose from his seat and moved towards the kneeling figure. His finely boned fingers, strong but gentle as they came to rest upon her head, "you are simply beyond fortunate that you are helpful to me and my lieutenant... and that you bring a bit of joy to this squad. Once Renji returns I want this handled, Yue... and I don't want to hear anything more of your pranks."

"Yes, Taicho..."

He dismissed her from the office, returning to his seat. Observant as always he didn't miss the slightly trembling line of her lower lip as she hurried into the hall. The door closed a bit harder then she expected to when the source of her trepidation was spotted heading right towards her. Her lieutenant smiling next to the still scowling man. She couldn't help but cringe slightly when their eyes settled upon her.

"Ah, just the woman we were looking for."

Fear clutched her heart at Renji's light-hearted comment, "Y-you were looking for m-me?"

"Yup, it seems that Madarame-san here has something he wants to tell you."

"H-he does?" Looking between them, she couldn't help the slight withdrawal as Renji slipped his arm about her shoulders, her eyes dropping to the floor.

Renji looked to his older superior and leveled a questioning look to him before patting her gently on the back and turning to step back into the office, "I have paperwork to finish, don't take too long, Yue."

Abandoned. That was exactly how she felt as she refused to move from where she stood. Her hands clutched before her to the point her knuckles lost their color, she waited for him to start in on her again. She was in for a surprise.

Her cowering form wrenched at his heart. During his walk up with Renji, he had come to see that it had been the Lieutenant's partial fault for how she acted. The red haired Shinigami had told her that since she wasn't an overly exceptional fighter she had to find another way to catch the attention of any guy in the eleventh squad. Unfortunately, he hadn't known that it was Ikkaku whom she had liked. He explained that if he had things would definitely have been different. Unable to leave her standing there trembling in fear, Ikkaku stepped forwards a pinch of hopelessness aching in his chest as she flinched and struggled not to take a step back. He deserved that but as his hand rose to gently brush her hair back behind her ear, the last thing on his mind was hurting her again. "Yue... Will you look at me?"

Confusion furrowed her brow as she fought not to lean into his caring touch, "You're making it hard to leave you alone, Madarame-san."

His hand dropped away and clenched into a tight fist at her response only to come right back, taking hold of her chin and lifting her head to make her look at him. Tears pooled in her eyes, streaked her face and spirits help him he found himself weak to it. "I was angry. I didn't mean it. You just get me so frustrated sometimes and... Oh, don't... please don't cry, Yue."

She couldn't help it, his further affirmations that she had been a bother to him only served to crush her confidence even more. Delicate looking hands rose trying to wipe away the silent torrent of tears that slid down to wet his fingertips. He looked so completely lost now, it was almost cute... almost... if she hadn't been on the verge of an emotional break it would have been.

For a moment, his fingers tightened ever so slightly on her chin before he leaned in and did one thing he never thought he ever would. Feather-soft, his lips came to kiss away her tears. The salty droplets licked from their lines as her gasp of surprise drew her head back to look at him. That had been the last thing she though would happen... well, second to last thing, because as she stared back at him, utterly dumbstruck, he growled in frustration and swooped in to fully possess her parted lips.

The kiss was mind-blowing, possessive; her knees buckled under the weight of passion in it and left her clutching his robes as he supported her about the waist with a single arm. He was completely devouring her and once the shock wore off, she was right there meeting his advance. Neither cared that the door to the office had opened again. Neither noticed the bug-eyed look on Renji's face nor the cool contemplation of Byakuya until Ikkaku backed her to the wall. Only the wall was no wall. Renji balked and smacked Ikkaku upside the head bringing the shattering kiss to an abrupt end.

"What the hell, Abarai! Why'd you... do... that... oh. Gomen nasai, Kuchiki-Taicho." Looking positively sheepish, he lowered his hand from Yue's hair to rub the back of his neck.

"Madarame-san. I take it that the situation has been settled."

"Um... yea, you could say that, Taicho."

"Very well. Please, see to Yue then. I don't think she will be of much use to me at the moment," His diplomatic observation of her dream-like state was not lost on either man as his stoic countenance turned about to once more tend to his work.

The door closed at his back Renji was a bit less proper as Ikkaku gently worked to draw Yue back to them, "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen her that quiet before."

"Shut it, Abarai... Yue?"

"Mmmm?"

Renji just snickered and reached to ruffle her hair before resigning himself back to work, "be careful with her, my Taicho actually likes having her around."

Smirking at his old teammate, he looked back down to the clear gray eyes that shone up at him. Her smile was seduction even though it was merely happy and innocent. Those delicate fingers rested above the beat of his heart where his robes parted. There was expectation there too that had his stomach knotting and heat raging through his body. He couldn't believe he'd almost ruined a shot at this.

"Let's go..."

She simply nodded and before there could be any question as to where she found herself back in the field beneath the weeping branches of the ancient tree. No one but Ikkaku and herself to enjoy the expanse of silence. His fingers combed through her hair, tilting her head back and drawing her up on her toes so that once more he could take her mouth under his. Slow but no less passionate, the kiss held her captive. Time seemed to stop and it wouldn't be until the next afternoon that anyone would see either again.


End file.
